Ever since Kim and Kanye (hmm...Kimye?) announced they were having a child (which clearly means the world is going to crap), tons of rumors have been flying about whether or not Kim Kardashian will land a Jessica Simpson-type post-pregnancy deal with Jenny Craig.

Turns out, Jenny Craig is all OHHH HELLLL NOOOOO!!! Best part? Their reasoning is that Kim doesn't seem real enough, and this year they're focusing on "real results for real women."

If I ever meet Jenny Craig, I'm going to open-mouth kiss her for this.